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What does that even mean in this context? ??? It's just a mindless soundbite.

The cvnt must be almost there surely. Be great if 2015 could claim both of them.

Presumably the weight of this 'enormous' log, and therefore it's resultant accelerated drop velocity, ensured a relatively clean break at the sphincter and therefore minimal wipage, aided no doubt by you being dehydrated as a result of you having just woken up and having taken onboard no fluids...