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I remember (aged 9 or 10) finding the mother lode of grumble in an overstuffed plastic bag behind a garage in Warwick Gardens in Worthing. I was the most popular boy in the parish that long hot summer many years ago. Porn..where art thou now?

Christ on a bike..if the navy seals broke into my house they'd need a shit load more than two Blackhawks to get my load out, and that's just what's on flash drives.

Besides...are you telling me that a bunch of sailors in balaclavas found "an extensive porn stash" and just handed it over to the CIA? Pah.

"Ah you see my mighty world trade centre is 140 stories high for you my darling one"...tug tug tug..."ugh"...and now it falls taking my infidel jizz with it.