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Actually, I'm attracted to inane, asinine, puerile attention seekers with brains the size of a pea.... how about it sexy.... ?

No like the good little poof I am, I will obey your stereo-type and stay at home making quiche and ordering pink curtains. I am deeply sorry for appearing on a football forum too. Doubtless that will confuse you as I am not supposed to like sport. I can assure you that I am here because I love...

No, we would both wear trousers, as most men do.

I'd like to dedicate the next natural disaster to this decision, in advance of a member of the clergy telling us that it is the wrath of the heavens...

And in a number of years people will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.

Good job the government didn't say that when our move to Falmer was in the balance. 'Oh, we've got more important things to review...'