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I have to confess that i rarely wash after a pee at the Amex, I can confirm though that I do not piss on my fingers and my old boy is probably the cleanest thing I have touched since leaving the house, having been housed in a clean pair of undies directly after showering.

I have a football related tale, of the possible pitfalls of sitting. I sit, shifting all my weight on to one buttock to gain access, this is the normal method of doing things in my opinion, and anyone who chooses to stand is clearly not quite right. However, I was forced to seek an alternative...