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Sorry banging on here I know but I have one more suggestion that works in my house. You post listed a number of things that bother your child the were uncovered by the counsellor. Sometimes just dealing with that list help enormously the simple act of working through it will do two things...

Spot on here, our cats are the most amazing therapy for all three of our kids.

This routine may be contributing. I had a kid in my class a few years ago who was often out of control and easily manipulated by older kids to do sill stuff, jump of roofs etc. His biggest problem was the disorganisation of after school care (he was eventualy diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD)...

This is not that strange, during my time teaching i have heard this quite a lot. There is a school of thought that believes that kids are working so hard at school to do the right thing that when they ease off a whole day's worth of anger and frustration comes out. So a perfectly behaved kid at...