I get the idea, fantastical it may be, that Evans surrounds himself with younger, more ginger, versions of himself and then eats them in a cannibalistic rejuvenation ritual thus his inordinately long, but admittedly obese, life.
Or he's just a fat ****.
Either way is fair.
Utterly onerous, fat, useless, inept, aggressive and tactically naive waste of genetics.
And his Ginger Ninja cock assistant is on his way.
Loved how he f***ed up controlling the ball. Twice.