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One time we were due to go for a picnic but it ended up being miserable weather. So Dad decided we'd have the picnic on the living room floor instead. He started throwing bits of bread around and I asked "Dad, what are you doing?" "I'm feeding the ducks, QUACK QUACK!" The lovable idiot.

Ugh my mum used to irritate me with a variation on that. "How long till dinner mum?" "Well, I put it in a half hour ago" "GAH! That doesn't help!"