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  1. The Clown of Pevensey Bay

    BBC Sports Personality of the Year

    What he said. What if Monty Panesar's mum and dad had died before he skittled Pakistan? Would a double personal tragedy make him more worthy of the award? The whole thing is a load of brylcreemed bollocks on stilts. In fact, I'm not even sure why I'm talking about it now, instead of going to bed.

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