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Or Punch and Judy - if we can find a crocodile, a string of sausages and a policeman. Do you know any, Edna? Crocodiles, that is. Roz knows enough police officers to cast a feature-length film of the Keystone Cops. :D

The BBC employs lawyers. They have been known to look at news items very carefully, before passing them for broadcast. Wasn't it interesting that viewers were given enough time to read every single word on the poster? "WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER OF BRIGHTON & HOVE ALBION FC WARNING: THIS...

It was on Saturday's BBC South East news and on Sunday's BBC South news.

That's the hair she's had specially done for her performance in the Lewes Arms pantomime this coming week as BAD FAIRY ASBO. Personally, I thought the state of the spare room at Bracknell Towers (where the interview was filmed) was a DISGRACE. But I think we got away with it.