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Looks like you're off target by about 50 miles...... Portsmouth are on the verge of being bought by the son of a Russian billionaire who has pledged to spend £100m on players. (Daily Express)

Why do you think Johnny P was there last night? It's obvious that he's sorting out his job after the next election when he'll be offical vodka and meat pie taster for our new owner - Vladimir Putin (who's the 'mystery' Russian and who will also be looking for a new job soon). I'm not too sure...

Well, at least I've learned something from this thread - I didn't know John Inman was dead.

Stay away from those chemicals.