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I basically never bet. The last time I placed a bet must have been more than 20 years ago. But I got a sense of the inevitability of a Croydon cup win just before the semi and placed an insurance bet. Placed a £25 bet and made a little over £160. Didn’t work at all. I’d still far rather...

They have a famous silver pot we’ve never laid our hands on and removed our Euro bragging rights after one poxy season. I know the league table tells a wider story but right this second… no bugger’s reading it.

Well THAT sucks! Half a bottle of wine in and Eurovision is still an hour away. I can DO this. Going to camply drink my way though this thing.

I wouldn’t say never. We’re banging on the door these days and all that. But… Only one of us can be the first to win major silverware and if, as seems likely, it turns out to be that pile of rubber johnnies, they’ll have that over us forever. That’s stabbing at my soul right now. We’ll...

Too late. I’m panicking.

Right at this moment, I hate the world and everything in it.