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Well, I live near COVENTRY. See if you can pick any holes in that. Yesterday, I drove past Carpet Kingdom, Carpet Castle and a dead cat all within 100 yards of each other on the Holbrook's road before lifting dog shit off a football pitch to get a game on. It's like living in Disneyland.

The only good thing about Crawley is that it's by an airport and you can get a long, long way away from it, very, very quickly.