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I've read that in the style of a Double Entendre

I did an experiment this year. Some seed. Some seed with compost. A different brand of seed. A bit of turf from the garden centre.Aeration. No Aeration. I have scientifically concluded that it's all a complete waste of time especially when the dog pisses on it and eats the turf. At least it...

How about the weeding, the raking, the seeding, the raking again, the moaning "What have you done to the lawn, it looks awful" followed by more raking, more seeding and more moaning. Only for it to be just as shit a year later with just the week of it looking half decent. It's utterly pointless...

I'm near Coventry. It's still big coat weather. I might eBay me shorts at this rate.

If we could have a bit of warmth to germinate the grass seed I've put down, it will at least give me a decision to make.