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The club have agreed to it, but you'll need to provide your receipt from the brothel at the ticket office to receive your refund.

I mean, if a bunch of millionaires fancy subsidising our travel costs to watch them, that's something I could get down with. I'm not sure it should be tied to performances though. That could lead to some perverse incentives for supporters at the ground.

I'm not sure even that's true. If they were giving everything they could but lost, they don't owe anybody anything. If they want to hold their hands up and say they genuinely weren't trying, I don't want their bloody money, I want them to f***ing try harder next time.

I'm going to quote myself: