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Well, I just want to say that you have a f***ing good side, a lovely city and pleasant fans. You have a bit of a thing about our fans not being from Manchester, mind, which I can kind of understand, but I must say that our out of towners who go are some of the most loyal fans in football. It's...

Failsworth is probably 50/50 (there's a big United supporters club there that has been doing coaches home and away for years). Your missus ever taken you for a night out on the Pole? ;-)

I used to go to college around there and my dinnertimes were aimlessly spent gorging on curries and kebabs before retiring to the grass at lunch and in my free periods to ogle the ladies. It was so engrossing I largely forgot to do any studying...

My mate lives in Boothstown. I'm originally from around the Failsworth/Blackley area. Salford in general is a big United area anyway, so it's only right that you should be surrounded by us! ;-)

I bet you enjoyed the curries....

You should see Manchester prices since the BBC and loads of southerners started moving up here. Anyway, on the subject of which, London is calling in about 10 minutes. This has brightened up the first leg of a boring train journey anyway, and it is now legitimately beer o'clock from Victoria! ;-)

Mint. One out of two ain't bad. Not sure I could ever adjust to life among people who don't eat chips and gravy though. ;-)

There are poor people down south?!?!?!?!?

I'd love to if I could afford it. Is there space for my whippets too?

I thought we were all middle class plastics from Surrey who never go to the game. Make your minds up, eh? ;-)

I wish you good luck, but I obviously hope we win. You play great football and are a credit to your city and manager.

What a colossal fuckwit.

Thank you.

Manchester. Just leaving now.

I don't think I can be more humble than saying you battered us in our last 2 league games, can I?

No need to worry about being polite. I can take the flak.

For us. You got beat on pens in the semi but have battered us in the last couple of league games (even if the home game was only 2, you could have had a hatful).

We owe you lot one. Or maybe two or three given our pretty poor record down there at yours and your humbling of us at Old Trafford earlier this season. ;-) 3-1 United. I'd happily take a draw now though.