I'm not familiar with the trains in Melbourne, but elsewhere in the country the trains are normally double-decker. So for any given length of platform, you're actually looking at significantly more passenger capacity than here in the UK.
Been a while since I followed any AFL (and even when I did, it wasn't seriously). From memory back in the day the main wit you'd get from an AFL crowd were the crowd behind the goals constantly shouting "how big's your ****" at the official whenever a goal was scored. I recall many an official...