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No, the footballing gods are very much doing what they always do for the Nigels. They are without doubt the scabbiest club out there. They fluke everything.

What a pleasing start to proceedings. Now FFS COME ON ALBION, make it count!

And Salah misses!

So first up, we're all plucky little Bournemouth aren't we? That doesn't sit well with me, I can tell you, but needs must. They can f##k off back to the EFL and take their shoebox ground with them, but only after taking something off the dippers.