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They weren't keen on the amount of time we were taking at goal-kicks....

Ah - but you see that's all part of it. He knew it wouldn't be given when VAR had a look - so he tells the ref he hadn't been tripped, get's into the ref's very best of good books. Then when he 'clashes accidentally' with an opponent later and leaves him writhing, ref thinks 'but he's an...

And his handshake is probably one of those deceptive vice-like grips that look like nothing, but leave the opponent's hand crushed and in pain for ages.

Not sure why you even asked! We all know who it is.