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You have a pretty much perfect family life there. Keep that, cherish that. Don't forget it and don't throw it away. When I was 12 my dinner was whatever neighbour was looking after us, or we looked after ourselves. Don't get me wrong, we weren't neglected or anything, everyone looked after...

And this is the beauty of NSC. Everyone rows with someone, and everyone assumes they know everything about the person they are rowing with, and everyone will carry a row over to other threads. The evening dinner protocol busts a few theories.

Sat in your pants, dribbling gravy down your belly while watching sky sports news trying to convince us a Man Utd loan signing from York City is big news.