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Don't take my half-joking comments too seriously mate! I'm old-school - for me football should be like buses, trains, the cinema - turn up, pay at the door and in you go! The rules for buying tickets these days are more complicated (apart from needing a smart phone to get one half the time)...

That's not far off the truth. Pubs generally can't survive selling drinks alone - hence the restaurant business. On another question - does the OP have permission to buy a ticket? Is he registered? Loyalty points? Has Barber got his full life-history, verified identification, references? He...