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May I helpfully suggest that you buy a Coke Zero in the ensuing weeks before the next home match, glug it down and save the top to surreptitiously use on your topless bottle at the Amex?

I think you meant 'some people like to stand at football. Self evidently, at the Amex, 000's don't. Regardless, when the guy in front of me in West Lower stands up at the slightest opportunity, the sky darkens and and I can't see whether I stand or sit. I've missed a couple of goals already this...