There's that tale that you get your team chosen for you in Liverpool by being dipped in the Mersey and, if you come out blue you're Everton or red and you're Liverpool.
Actually I think they wait until they get to Infant School and then ask them whether they'd prefer to spend the rest of their...
Everton v West Ham might be one of the most "m'eh" fixtures on the calendar and looks an ideal window for me to clean the bathroom and prep the veg.
Newcastle v Spurs, on the other hand, has so much comedy potential I almost can't wait for 4.30. Two of the most entitled sets of fans in the...