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Mr Tumble's trick of making his eyes pop out on stalks like a cartoon character when he doesn't get a free kick is very entertaining. Like watching Tom and Jerry when Tom spots Spike coming after him.

Gareth Bale's not bad, is he? I would really love to know why ZZ refused to play him for nigh on 2 years.

We won't. Sorry but that's how it is.

We are going down. Get used to the idea.

Your optimism is admirable but misplaced.