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Surely it's time for a change of leadership, and not just a Tory Party leadership contest. He's useless!

Lockdown. Starts next Tuesday teatime. Before then, whatever you do don't meet up with friends for a last minute drink or go to a rave. Oh, you already have. PS don't worry, we'll keep all the local shops open so the poorest in society can be most exposed to this virus by the middle classes...