"Lower weapons and disengage Mr Sulu.
Rules of engagement state that we cannot attack lower level life forms."
"Affirmative Captain"
"Let's just observe it, we may learn something about the Retardtrolls that benefits humans in future."
An ex, who is now head of English at a school in Blackpool, messaged me the other week.
She was asking me to confirm that the stories she was telling to her mates (she was on a night out) were actually true. Because they didn't believe her.
As you say, you can't buy that shit.....
I'm just...
How do people like that actually enjoy any moment of their life?
I can guarantee that I had had more fun by the time I was 29 than the majority have in their entire innings. And at that age I owned **** all, apart from a life's worth of brilliant stories.
But then I met a lovely woman, had a...