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I honestly hope that you don't try to instill your incorrect and offensive thoughts on your child. Hopefully his/her mother is really nice.

Best of luck mate.

He's a total cock mate. How are things down under?

"Lower weapons and disengage Mr Sulu. Rules of engagement state that we cannot attack lower level life forms." "Affirmative Captain" "Let's just observe it, we may learn something about the Retardtrolls that benefits humans in future."

Tell em (almost) everything and let them make their own minds up. Best plan for sure.

An ex, who is now head of English at a school in Blackpool, messaged me the other week. She was asking me to confirm that the stories she was telling to her mates (she was on a night out) were actually true. Because they didn't believe her. As you say, you can't buy that shit..... I'm just...

Are you me in disguise? LOL.

How do people like that actually enjoy any moment of their life? I can guarantee that I had had more fun by the time I was 29 than the majority have in their entire innings. And at that age I owned **** all, apart from a life's worth of brilliant stories. But then I met a lovely woman, had a...

You're lucky. My patch of gravel is covered in nettles and dogshit. And , worse than that, Tim Hodges lives next door.

Precisely

This. Plus he sounds like a total bell.