Oh indeed. It's a bit hard for anyone, let alone a group of strangers on a messageboard, to give the 'right' advice as we don't know the people involved or how they'll all react. Maybe there will be a chance for a conciliatory word or more.
Yeah, I was going to suggest that. There's no point in pretending that it's all 'happy families' when it isn't. So just go to the service, sit at the back (but make sure at least somebody clocks your presence), and then leave immediately afterwards without talking to anybody. Obviously don't go...