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I once rented an office in an office block in Hove. One weekend the office block was broken into including all the individual offices within the block. Every office had their computers stolen from it except ours. The thieves were clearly not tempted by our outdated horizontal laying computer and...

Two anal fissures walk into a bar. One asks, “could you pass a stool please?” The other replies, “OK...but it’s going to hurt.”

I once had a mini with a homemade walnut dashboard which the previous owner had fitted. I used the walnut dashboard to hide my car stereo/casette player. Although it wasn't exactly top of the range I still took the precaution as I didn't want to tempt thieves. One morning I got in the car and...