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Thank you Michael. A timely comment. Delivered with Aussie directness. I was talking about you just the other day.

At least the media have identified how the American team CHEATED. They practiced! The utter BITCHES.

Or have the whole team escape from the top of the stadium in a helicopter with their tails between their legs while a little man in a straw hat and pyjamas chases them?

I’m enjoying this. How about everyone waving off one of the players to imitate a G.I heading off. Then carry her back with the Stars and Stripes laid over her body. Everyone can then simulate taking Heroin and writing folk songs about how it was wrong to get involved in the first place.

Storm in a B cup more like.

I doubt she'd go to the bother of celebrating her lack of tits. That's a properly obscure celebration too. Miming sipping tea to illustrate the fact her tits are like wrung out teabags?. Perhaps we could start a justgiving page for her to invest in a nice pair of knockers to go with that lovely...

My favourite was Tank at Southend. Spotting my other half eating a double cheeseburger Guy gestured her to bring it down to him as he warned up He was still covered in Ketchup when he was subbed on 30 seconds later. Genius and a gentleman.

I've given this some thought. You'd have someone pretending to blow Revellerie then look anxiously skywards... Cue everyone running about in total panic and pretending to jump overboad. The team then all lie face down motionless. It might be a stretch convincing the Japanese women to do...

What sphere? The ball or the norks? I can’t say I’ve ever watched football and mused on the players breasts until yesterday. My bad. Incidentally that badge the U.S have is proper shit. Not as bad as Bournemouth obvs but very poor. Lacks just about everything you need for a good crest. They...

What positions do those two play? I think I’ve dated them.

If it’s a BJ she’s miming she needs to move her right hand about 1 inch to the left and open wide. Unless she’s simulating smoking the bone with Parish. His gentleman is only 5mls wide and all soggy like over boiled linguine.. Allegedly.

You’ve been a very naughty girl! Go straight to my room.

It’s got nothing to do with football...but why does that chick even BOTHER with a bikini?

I watched tiny Cox take about a thousand corners and never saw him beat the first man. You’d think he’d manage it...even by accident...once or twice. It was quite a skill.

I’m liking your work on this thread. Some pithy football related serious comment allied with photos of a woman’s arse.

Yeah..that was weird. Women eh? Steph must be on the blob.

I’ll bet, if I was a gay, I’d still not forgive Zaha for being a bell. I might fancy him but I’d have gay standards I’m sure. Now Duffy. I’d fancy him I reckon. He’s very butch.

Was it a work computer? You might have a difficult conversation with a HR associate in your future if so.

Watching the women on BBC breakfast commiserating with the team was very interesting. I can’t imagine Martin Keown and Mark Wright crapping on about how “devastated and upset” an England men’s player must be on missing a crucial penalty at the World Cup. “Aww, Harry must be sooo upset, I really...

Hmm. Is that some igneous rock that Ms Morgan is fondling? Or maybe it’s sedimentary. I’ll need more close up shots to decide.