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Look I'm sorry I know NSC is a fountain of all knowledge but even I draw the line at a deep-seated understanding of the consistency of a body that has been frozen on route from Nairobi and deposited above Clapham.

House prices, immigrant, Princess of Hearts - oh for a story on the weather.

Yet people who refuse to turn right when boarding a plane will happily sit in their ivory towers and pour scorn on those seriously less fortunate and their desperate attempts to come to the UK.