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Please, please Mr Ashley make it a Londoner, Martin Allen springs to mind.

Nothing globally, rubbish. I saw a lot of Newcastle shirts proudly being worn in Benidorm on a recent stag week. And lots of bars in the down market areas of Tenerife are festooned with Newcastle United memoribilia. I didn't see many in Sorrento during half term to be fair but I have given you 2...