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For us to suffer another horrible season in the Premier League!

Hang on - just remembered we have Percy Tau to save us next season. Thanks for small mercies.

They will be again at this rate

Wonder what the odds will be for us not managing a single goal next season?

55 mins Post update Brighton 0-1 Newcastle Brighton have touched the ball four times in Newcastle's penalty area. Blimey!

Even if Cardiff go down ahead of us, I think we should do the gentlemanly thing and offer to go down as well. Then another club from the Championship who actually wants to play attacking football can come up in our place?

You would think looking at those stats that the players want to play in the Championship next season.

Classic BBC quote after 25mins : "Brighton already have a mountain to climb. They just don't look like scoring!"

Why is no one attempting to even get a shot at goal - are we hoping that Newcastle will score an own goal for us?

32% possession at home and again no attempts on goal in the opening 20mins. Why?

I've got a good feeling about today. I think all our crap performances of recent weeks have been a ruse to lull Newcastle into a false sence of security. Rafa will hopefully not feel the need to player a Keeper (as we practically never shoot), and then Hey Presto we shock them by firing in...