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His return to action will be in the beautiful rolling countryside of.....Middlesbrough!

Yeah for his left peg, then another £80m for his right.

Somethings clearly not right here with all of this. Who's making all this money from us and where's it all going? Some of our recent transfer activity is starting to sound very dodgy to me. I'd happily accept £8m for my services and can guarantee you I'd never play for the club either. At...