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Deep into injury time here in Krasnodar in the World Cup Semi Final and England have a penalty. One nil down, this surely is their last chance. Up steps Henderson...Oh and what a save by Maty Ryan Socceroo. Ave that for Karma, Southgate you clueless cretin...

If I were Mcleish, I would be thumbing through the Birth registers and family trees for Messrs Dunk, Stephens and Murray (and Barnes for that matter). At least none of ours will be found slumped in the Hotel Bar with traces of Polonium or Novichok this summer. What strikes me so much is the lack...