Ay yes, the famous quote
An anonymous woman said that making love to him was "like having a wardrobe fall on top of you with the key sticking out"
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/in-the-news-nicholas-soames-happy-eater-with-little-appetite-for-humility-or-political-correctness-1154036.html
link to unredacted version available if you search for "spreadsheet" on twitter. It's on a site called imgur.com
I did initially post the link directly, but on reflection, there's an outside chance that it could be seen as libellous and damaging to have the link on NSC, even though there's not...