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The ‘look at me’ brigade. The people that sit on someone’s shoulders at gigs/festivals because they think they are so attractive that everyone will want to look at them. No thoughts for the poor sods behind. Still, at least they are good targets for the bottles of urine flying about.

At least that's odour free I guess!

No, families are perfectly entitled to travel too, they have a ticket, they can travel. All I want is a bit of peace, I don't want to hear any songs from Matilda, or (as I had last night), a family actively encouraging their children to fart....(one of which I copped full on)...

Families coming home from London on the commuter trains, usually after watching a theatre matinee or some other day out. If other commuters are like me, we'd be happy to sit on a train for an hour in relative silence, resting after a busy day. The last thing I need is Mr & Mrs and hyped up...

[/B] I happened to mention to my relatively-recent-vegan boss that a picture of some pork chops in a magazine looked lovely, and that I could really eat them. Next thing I know, I'm aware of him standing over my shoulder playing with his phone. Then he pops the phone in front of me and was...

Didn't Knocky try to do one once, where he didn't slide, so to save face just walked along on his knees?!

Or the overemphasised greeting to something: Girl 1 - 'OMG!!!!!' Girl 2 - 'Have you just won the Euro Lottery?' Girl 1 - 'No, Girl 3 has her knickers on back to front'

Treasure these moments. Give it 50 years and coins/notes will be consigned to history, and we'll all be paying for everything using Bit Coin, via eye scanners.

The brazen thickyness of the idiots that send spam email. I like to occasionally look down the latest list of 30 spam emails and chortle at how gullible they must think people are to believe it's genuine. Although I guess it only takes one or two to fall for it to make it worthwhile for them.

'Designer' clothing/shoes/hand bags etc - surely everything is designed, even George at Asda... People wearing 'Baby on board' badges when they appear to have conceived the night before - and the mis-use of said badges (which I'm guessing were intended for women that were carrying the extra...

I like the very very occasional meal out that costs more than a mortgage payment, but give me the likes of Hungry Horse every other time. Cheap, substantial food - it's worth putting up with the feral rugrats running about to save the money.

Or let them out at junctions. The most annoying ones are when there's a road only wide enough for one car, so you flash the car 100m away in the opp direction to come through - then you get nothing, no flash, and hand up, no mouthed 'thank you'. And when I stop to let a pedestrian cross...

People that exaggerate sneezes for effect. We had a woman here that had a sneeze that starts conventionally enough, but at the end she puts this weird noise on the end - totally uncalled for, but it got her some attention for a couple of seconds!

A woman on the train yesterday, headphones in, book in one hand, plastic bookmark in the other - which she used as a drum stick on the table in tune with her music. Blissfully unaware of how irritating she was.

That's if you're lucky enough to HAVE bog roll in public loos...

This: When it should be this: