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When have words ever mattered in a football song? It's all about the hook, and this just doesn't have it. You can't possibly say it works better because it hasn't been sung at an Albion match, and it never will. In fact I'll bet you £20 to REMF that the OP's song is never sung by more than 50...

Nice poem, 0% chance of working in a football stadium. AK already has a song.