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What, up until the eighth word? This footballer did. It was a one-man show at Brighton Open Air Theatre. The 'one man' was Russell's brother.

I met him and his family at the theatre about three weeks ago, and had a natter with him. Nice chap - massive Brighton fan. He thought Dale Stephens should have Player of the Season. He said he was very happy at Norwich, but would like to play for Brighton 'one day'. The way he said it, I took...