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In a cafe eating poached eggs because I looked at the horrendous mess my stepbrother left in the kitchen last night cooking curry from scratch for his mates at 11pm last night and decided I could not deal with it first thing. Too messy to cook breakfast, too early to tackle it. So that's all...

Pub gardens aren't just for kids. But that's the problem with pubs in Surrey. Full of the little *******s.

Well don't bring em down here. ****ing hate kids in pubs.

Never had a pint on your own in a lovely pub on a sunny afternoon? Knob'ed.

Beer garden by the Thames in Surrey