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Doubtless you feel inwardly smug at mistakenly thinking you can wind people up. I am, however, looking forward to the day when someone goes round to your house and shits up the wall. Not hilarious, but there would be a sense of poetic justice. One can have a grudging admiration for someone...

Given that representatives of their club deliberately perpetrated, had knowledge of, and stayed silent on an incident which cast another club in a poor light, there's some pretty appalling hand-wringing and shoulder-shrugging from some of the Palace contingent on here now that the spotlight has...

So it appears Palace's very own Frank Spencer isn't potty-trained.