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Anyway, enough of the negativity. As its Spanish Day, and its against Bolton, I'm coming along dressed as Ivan CAMPO.

Impressive stuff. And yet you lack the ability to actually read properly, or spot blindingly obvious sarcasm? And 'messages left for your benefit'? Get over yourself, chap. The only message directly left for you, was the one which read "Are you REALLY that stupid?". That wasn't subtle though.

Well quite. These are brilliant. Such wit. Do you have any more?

Are you REALLY that stupid?

Do you think Real Madrid are having an English Day to welcome Gareth Bale?

Terrific idea. That'll make them all feel right at home. Maybe get Ulloa to wear a shirt with "Gotcha" printed on the back, too?

Tight t-shirt, designer jeans and a nice warm COAT.

that then.