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I heard this - mars bars over cheese any day of the week. What gets to me is that they appear to be so random in what they'll nibble. As the OP said for him it's been Jiff bottles, and our menu appears to contain anything from bin liners to newspapers.

Can I hire you for a week? How much do you charge? There appear to only be two of them.

Can't offer much help but currently have the same problem. Old Victorian town house with plenty of easy entry and egress points for the little googlers. I'm leaving here in a couple of months and they generally do no harm but hearing them scamper around willy nilly in the middle of the night...