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Ok to go back to your original question about hatred of red trousers. I don't think people hate them as shown here, there is a general indifference to them and we'd much rather talk about magpies. With your obsession with red are you the Queen of Hearts in disguise?

you can hold onto your collar with one hand and salute with the other or are there rules on which hand to use? I'd be holding my collar all day round here, i work just off the main road to the hospital

whats the drains and oak tree things? am i missing out on something?

From this day forward I've embettered your life so you can now leap out of bed each day with a smile on your face

did you carry around a dead rabbit and eel cake on the offchance or did you have to find them in a short space of time upon fox sighting? I assume you didn't ever have to travelling through a city in the early hours of the morning or else you'd be doing a lot of rolling round and eating eel...

I think you're only supposed to salute the first magpie of the day you see and only in the mornings, anything other will bring you bad luck or something.