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Cue Barnes-Ox comparisons for years to come.

Our midfield is truly awful. I don't rate any of the five. Milner, Carrick & Jones are very average players who make the team because of their respective clubs. Lamps legs have gone. Walcott flatters to deceive. None of the golden generation (Beckham, Scholes, Gerrard, Hargreaves, Cole) have...