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I looked out this morning to find a big burly bloke in my garden. I called out the window at him and asked what he was doing. He said "I thought you were on holiday" I said; "No, we go tomorrow. Off to spain for a fortnight" He climbed back over the wall and said; "Oh okay, have a lovely...

Ahhh, that poor blind woman....she thought she was doing it for her husband, not realising he had opened all the curtains and turned the lights on for all the neighbors to film....He must have made a fortune!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!