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Today i took the day off of work and went for a jog early doors. The problem with this was that i suddenly felt in urgent need of a poo about 20 minutes gone. I was heading down Caledonian Road and thought perhaps Kings Cross might help me. And it did in ways. I ambled through the station...

As a child i kept a gerbil that likely dreamt of another world and snapped its neck between the bars of its cage on attempted escape. It wasn't allowed into animal heaven thanks to their over-strict belief it were suicide that brought him there. At first, as a big-toothed and lonely nibbler in...