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My wife Robina and I have decided to have a nice romantic walk round Falmer Village tonight. We'll take some bread to feed the rats and a camera to photograph this Site of Outstanding Natural Beauty - maybe we can do some posters to show everybody how lovely it is? See you at the cricket...

Falmer Pond dry and rat infested...how picturesque!! Oh, the glorious vista which is Falmer Village Pond. The heart of the village, centre of that quintessential piece of Rural England which must be saved from us nasty football fans. Judging from the account of one eager visitor the site would...