I also have "I've loved You So Long". Great film, featuring Kristin Scott Thomas as a French sister. I was amused to see the way they explained away her English accent as someone who was sent to England when she was younger. That didn't really wash, but as I say, another good film.
I've got all of them, and the one you describe (with the horrific scene in his flat).
Edit: It's called "Hidden" ("Caché" in French)
Top stuff.
And I challenge any bloke not to get a right stonk on after watching the opening scenes of Betty Blue. :thumbsup: