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Two French Foreign Legionnaires out in the desert get separated from their unit when a blinding sandstorm kicks in. When the storm passes they realise they are hopelessly lost and will have to trek to see if they can find their base. After several days without water they are on their last...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. They all suffer > from a severe stutter. > "What's it to be?" asks the stunningly beautiful landlady. > "Th th th th th th three pi pi pi pi pi.................." says the > Englishman. > Up steps the Irishman. "Threeee p pints of of of of...

Alex Ferguson calls Beckham into his office. 'David', he says, 'I need to talk to you about your performance against Leeds the other night, you were bloody hopeless, completely off form.' 'Sorry boss', says David. 'I've not been myself lately. I've got a few >problems at home.' 'Oh dear'...

Anyway, this guy goes to North America on his holidays and visits a native north American who is billed as the world's greatest memory man. "He will answer ANY question" boasts the poster outside his tent. So the guy goes in and says " Charlton vs QPR, 1976. Where was the game played?" So the...