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An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his wife was getting on. By mistake he was connected to Lord's cricket ground. "How's it going?" he asked. "Fine," came the answer, "We've got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck!"

A report in the Argus says that all the toilets have been stolen from Brighton Police station. A spokesman said 'We are investigating, but at present have nothing to go on'.

Why do ghosts get on so well with devils? . . . . Because demons are a ghouls best friend! :D