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thanx for all your gags. some of which I'll adopt... (I'm not proud) will let you know how i did when out of hospital :ohmy:

dunkstar I like the liver one.....can I pur*LOIN* it for saturday I'll tell you how it went (if I live to tell the tale) thanx

I concur with dunkstar 'laugh I nearly cried' - you are a sheep in sheep's clothing You wot!:eek:

perhaps I ought to call saturday off after all! ???

It's a long shot on this board - LOL but has anyone got any (fairly) original stand-up gags they can share? ok, ok!!! I'm supposed to be doing some this weekend and have been a lazy b - I'm going to bomb unless I get some inspiration. btw, The standard of jokes seem to have shot up since...